SCA

Warning: Spoiler alert! There are articles here that have yet to be published elsewhere. All content copyrights belong to “True Thomas the Storyteller” (Robert Seutter) and/or the SCA. If you would like to re-publish these articles in your SCA newsletters, magazines, etc. please feel free to contact THL Thomas Whitehart (True) and he’ll be glad to help you.

• ABC-SCA, The SCA Alphabet Primer
• A Shield Wall of One!
• Bad-Bard, Bad-Bard, Whatcha' Gonna Do?
• Born in the SCA
• Crag's Lyst, (April Foolish!)
• The Medieval Diner
• Sunny Valhalla SCA Retirement Home
• Secret Stratagems
• Siege Towers 101
• The Boke of the Dyseases le SCadyian
• The Fyne Art of Combat Brewing
• True’s Glossary of…EVIL!, Version 3.0!
• Happy Hanu-Kwana-Solsti-rismas!
• The Fyne art of Feast Warfare
• SCA Heraldic Zodiac Bling
• Welcome to the New Middle Aged-ness
• The Fyne Art of Picking a Nemesis
• A Visit From Sir Sven A Claus

• Class Handouts

What’s on Your Shield, Baby

Or

SCA Heraldic Zodiac Bling

By: THL Thomas Whitehart

My lady has two wolves on her shield. As I met her circle of friends, I began to realize that people with certain heraldry seem to show certain personality traits. Wolf people tend to be dangerous on the battlefield, and slow to warm up to potential friends. Foxes, with or without soxes, tend to be witty and clever and so on. I have a stag on my shield and have run into few other proud Herbivores. (We take all the predator smack talk in stride- to us, they're all just so many “antler ornaments.”) These heraldic archetypes reminded me of the astrology of the 70’-80’s when everyone wore their zodiac sign on a gold chain around their necks. “Don’t mess with a Scorpio, etc. etc.” So without further ado, and compliments of your local herald-ish interpreter, here is your SCA Heraldic Zodiac “Bling” Primer!

Nautica: Nauticals are the fluid types in the Heraldic wheel of life. While your surface can be smooth or stormy, they often times conceal great depths. If your heraldry includes water, ships, anchors, sharks, skulls and crossbones, chances are you are a Nautica.
This week: Say “Arrrr” to the one you love. Avoid Floritanicals, and invest heavily in belaying pins.

Predatoria: Lions, tigers, and bears, (oh My!) Whether you run with a pack, or prefer dining solo, if your heraldry includes fur, fangs, and eating lots of protein, chances are, you are a predatoria. Predatoria prefer to stalk their problems, and deal with difficult people over dinner.
This week: You don’t have to be Alpha to be loud and proud! Flea season is just around the corner, so find that grooming buddy.

Herbivoria: If your heraldry includes hooves, or horns, a high fiber diet and tendency to dance on your enemies, you are Herbivoria. Herbivoria tend to have a direct approach in dealing with things, and keep their eyes on the horizon. When they decide to move, everyone gets out of the way.
This week: Stop ruminating, and blaze some new trails. Don’t be afraid to kick up your heels!

Crittoria: Variety is the spice of life! If you have a heraldic creature that’s more economical in size, chances are you are a critter. From bats to bumblebees, from wombats to weasels, if your submission made the heralds say “Huh” you have the Crittoria nimble mindset. Crittoria like to look at the world from unique perspectives, and are looking for that special niche in life.
This week: Mercury is trippant- can you say “roadkill?” Avoid road-rash decisions, and stay close to your honey!

Avians: People with Avian heraldry can be diverse. Some (eagles, owls and hawks) like traveling and fast food. Others, like ravens and crows, are curious, and want to put something shiny away for tomorrow. But despite their diversity, all Avians like to look at the Big Picture, and need a chance to get away from it all.
This week: Avoid the Mob-bing and call some friends!

Mythicals: If you do “Old school” Heraldic, like Dragons, Unicorns, Wyverns, etc. you are a mythical. Mythicals tend to like puzzles, are picky about who they hang with, and are big on tradition. Mythicals are always looking to create that “magical moment.”
This week: This current crop of Heroes ain’t so heroic. Keep your standards high!

Chimericals: Chimericals are the Heraldic Wheel’s tricksters. Talons on a fox? Why not. Goat, lion and dragon head, all together? Sure. Why not add flippers? Magical and mundane, Chimericals are often of many minds about things. They make great diplomats.
This week: Help plan a banquet, and strut your stuff!

Flora-tanicals: Believe in the Green. Flora-tanicals know that in the end, they always win. Big on setting down firm roots, and exploiting each nook and cranny, they are the most methodical and optimistic of the heraldic signs. For them hope is always blooming.
This week: Don’t be so stiff, and try to turn over a new leaf. Break out the perfume!

Implementia: Axes flash, broadswords, swing! If it be a shovel, a weapon, or a wheel (spinning or otherwise) you are Implementia. Refined and purposeful, Implementias are all about hard work, and keeping to the task at hand. While not outgoing, if your friends help maintain your relationship, they find you very productive.
This week: Things are a bit edgy. Polish up your people skills!

Geometricals: Loving broad stripes and bright stars, Geometricals are colorful people, who don’t have much to say, but say it with impact. Big on planning, but not on fuzzy, Geometricals are happiest when defining the world around them.
This week: Be straight with others, and remember- help people to be colorful, and not color-less.

Miscellania: Pink hearts, yellow moons, and pretty rainbows, the Miscellania tend to be elemental and whimsical, believing that it will all work out in the end. If you just don’t fit in anywhere else, chances are you are one of the broad minded and accepting Miscellania.
This week: No matter how hard they try, there will always be that one sock left over. Hee-hee-hee!

Submittia: Always hopeful, they know that life is never certain, and put whatever they like on their war-shields. In the ranks of the Submittia, you’ll find the jackalopes, the Cthulu’s, and the Klingon “Birds of Prey.” While many people may find they fit this category, they know that it’s the journey and not the destination that’s important.
This week: (and the one before that, and the one before that….) “Outlook cloudy. Naturally.”

Enjoy your Heraldic Zodiac Signage, and remember- if you see stars on that shield, it could be that Sir Drogo just hit you with a big war hammer! Blessings!

THL Thomas “Food-Gas-Lodging Next Exit” Whitehart is also known as “True Thomas the Storyteller.”