SCA

Warning: Spoiler alert! There are articles here that have yet to be published elsewhere. All content copyrights belong to “True Thomas the Storyteller” (Robert Seutter) and/or the SCA. If you would like to re-publish these articles in your SCA newsletters, magazines, etc. please feel free to contact THL Thomas Whitehart (True) and he’ll be glad to help you.

• ABC-SCA, The SCA Alphabet Primer
• A Shield Wall of One!
• Bad-Bard, Bad-Bard, Whatcha' Gonna Do?
• Born in the SCA
• Crag's Lyst, (April Foolish!)
• The Medieval Diner
• Sunny Valhalla SCA Retirement Home
• Secret Stratagems
• Siege Towers 101
• The Boke of the Dyseases le SCadyian
• The Fyne Art of Combat Brewing
• True’s Glossary of…EVIL!, Version 3.0!
• Happy Hanu-Kwana-Solsti-rismas!
• The Fyne art of Feast Warfare
• SCA Heraldic Zodiac Bling
• Welcome to the New Middle Aged-ness
• The Fyne Art of Picking a Nemesis
• A Visit From Sir Sven A Claus

• Class Handouts

True’s Glossary of…EVIL!, Version 3.0!

By: THL Thomas Whitehart

Master Ioseph of Locksley (one of the SCA’s first “Super-Bards”) wrote an SCA Glossary of SCA slang that is quite descriptive, and is still online. If you check it out, you can see how some things have changed, and some things are still the same.

So in the same vein, I humbly offer “True’s Glossary of Evil V.3.0.” Many of these terms were left on my doorstep, with the serial numbers filed off, and no legible prints. So to my twisted friends…errr…thanks!

Bait Eater: (alt. “Herring Choker”) A Viking.

Bale-Runner: A person running on top the bales in a Bridge battle. Ex: “Will somebody PLEASE kill that Bale-Runner on the left?”

Bauble-ing: A game that involves dice, imagination, and lots of old costume jewelry.

Bow-Bunny: A combat archer who is new or fights rarely. Not to be confused with Vorpal Bunny.

Bunny-Bow: A lighter poundage longbow or combat crossbow. Often used by Bow Bunnies.

Boffer-madness: A disease that normally afflicts young children ages 5 thru 12. While a normal childhood illness, it can turn deadly when older males pick up the boffers to “show them how it’s done.”

Brace: Collective term to describe a group of knights. Ex: "Here come a brace of Knights." (Given because many knights are wearing knee braces.)

Camp-Mom: Poor unfortunate person who suddenly seems to be responsible for everything. Ex: “Can we get some help in the kitchen?” “Who’s getting the firewood?” “Who is this, and why are they passed out in front of my tent?”

Camp-Dog: Ex: “I’m just day tripping- can I camp-dog with you?” Camp-Dogs travel light, and tend to congregate where there are chairs and shade.

Celtistani: 1. Someone with an Irish or Scottish persona who enjoy dressing up in Middle Eastern garb. 2. Middle Eastern garb made from LOUD, clashing plaid fabrics.

Chrome Dome: Chromed or exceptionally shiny helmet.

Clothes Horse: Someone with lots of very well tailored garb, but does nothing for fear of spoiling them.

Column Charge: (alt. “Love Train”) When a group of warriors attempt to reach out to their fellow man. While trotting briskly into a shield wall.

Cross Dresser: Someone who has multi-period impressions and throughout an event changes from one to another.

Crown-wardly Mobile: A talented fighter or potential recruiter of said talented fighter.

Disa-Peerage: The ability of a Peer to look just like anybody else when caught in an awkward situation.

Down and Dirty: A fighter who gets rolled over in a charge, and comes up only to realize he is still alive and now deep in the enemy ranks. Usually the start of a “death from behind!” campaign.

Drum-Psychosis: A disturbed mental state brought on by incessant “Dum-Dum-Tek-Ca-Tek Dum-Tek-Ca-Tek" (Also called Beledi-Brain or Maksoom Madness.)

Dungeon Bunny: A person who is unclear on which hobby they are currently reenacting. Ex: “M’lord, I’m sorry, but no, we don’t have any Dark Elf Fighter magic-user personas in our barony.”

“E.B.”: Short for Energizer Bunny. A fighter who seems to have endless energy, and will never turn down an opportunity to fight.

Eyebrow of Skepticism (the): (alt.Laurel Look) Originated with Mr. Spock. Used by Laurels to indicate concern at possible breaks in the space-time continuum. Ex: “Well, yes, I’m sure they did have fabric in the 12th century. But it might not be rayon or fluorescent pink.”

Flogger in Chief: Person who is responsible for getting the fighters back into their armor and herding them onto the field. Known to use profanity, abuse, and in dire circumstances…bagpipes.

Fabric-A-Non: A little discussed support group for costumers who have had to be dug out of a giant mound of bolts of cloth and associated trim. In their own homes. More than once.

Feast-Beast: A Person or persons, who attend feasts and have the medieval equivalent of Martha Stewart's finest in their feast basket. Ex: “Please don’t put me next to the feast-beast! I’ve got two wooden bowls, and they have solid gold period salt mills!”

Garlic Eater: A Roman.

Geez-o-Saur: Early SCA member. Remembers Freon Cans and Shag carpeting. Conversations tend to include reminisces about Mammoths and Wimples.

Goth-ling: (alt. Proto-Goth) A person who tends to wear a lot of black, and a variety of interesting jewelry. Often found in the company of pirates, vampires, fairies, and barbarians.

Hold-A-Thon: Possibly a hold has been called, and the call “hold” circulates back and forth until a Marshall kills it.

Inst-A-rab: When your friends who normally are decked out in celtic wool or Elizabethan finery suddenly show up to high temp events dressed in light, flowing cotton. (See Celt-i-stani.)

Mosh-Pit: {alt. No-mans-land} the open area between two sides during a bridge battle.

MPS: Short for Multiple Persona Syndrome. A disease that often afflicts older SCA members. While not known to be contagious, it can be very confusing to others. People with MPS often don’t know who they are, but brought all their wardrobe, just in case. (See: Time-line Impaired.)

Ninja-Prize: At the end of war, camp items are found that no one claims, and are put into someone else’s vehicle while the owner is in the privies. Ex: “Does anybody want this Ninja-Prize from last war?”

O’crat: Irish honorific, (usually ironic) given to somebody who wasn't quick enough, or went to the bathroom at the wrong time. Ex: “Congrat’s True, you are now the official Bard-O’crat for the event.”

Peasant: Anyone shooting arrows at a peer, no matter the actual rank of the shooter.

Permanent Hold: Ex: “Dylan the younger is on Permanent Hold” i.e. Time Out.

Rattan (Monkey, Junky): (alt. Stick Jock) SCA heavy weapons fighter. A person who for reasons unknown, wants to hit and be hit by others wielding solid core bamboo. Known for their colorful bruises, and heavy luggage.

Rennie: (Alt: Ren-Fairy, Re-enactor) People who participate in non-sca-demo Renaissance Faires. Occasionally used in a negative sense in the SCA. Some SCA people see Rennies as being wanna-be play-actors with little knowledge, and very clique-ish. (See: SCA-Dian or Polyester Prince/ss.)

Rhino-Bard: An entertainer often seen in hostage situations.

Road Celt: Dead Gaul on the via Apia. Usage: While preparing to defend against a column charge, "they'll all be road Celt in a few minutes."

SCA: (alt) Society of Computer Addicts.

SCA-Chambeau: A variant on the game “rock-paper-scissors.” In this version, the shieldmen kill the archers, the archers kill the spearmen, and spearmen kill the shieldmen. There is a sudden death version “and siege- kills EVERYTHING else.”

SCA-Dian: An SCA member. Slang. Occasionally used in a negative sense in the Re-enactor community. Some Re-enactors see SCA-dians as wanna-be lordlings with lots of polyester, little knowledge, and very clique-ish. (See Rennie-Ren-Fairy.)

Spear God/s: (alt. Pin Cushion) Person or persons prone to dazzling displays of spear prowess. Spear Gods often forget to have any shield protection. (See: Food group- Combat Archers.)

Snarf: (Creature-) Snarfs are rarely seen creatures, but the evidence of their existence is undeniable. Legend has it that may actually be a condition brought on by too much imbibing. Ex: “Some Snarf got into the cheese last night, and that’s why we aren’t having omelets this morning!” There is a lesser known variant called “Yarf” signs of which can be seen in colorful patches of pre-digested food. (In this case.. Cheese.)

Shield Surfing: Shield surfing is usually done by larger fighters trying to break a shield wall. Considered bad form. Ex: “I had some 400lb Rhino Shield Surf our wall, and he broke my arm.”

Shield Walker: A combat archer of small size who is hoisted up on a shield, and fed cocked crossbows during a bridge battle, usually with great effect.

Siege-Cursed: A poor unfortunate who seems to attract siege weapon missiles. Ex: “Psst, step away from True, he’s siege cursed!”

Speed Bump: When a fighter dies in melee combat and turtles up on the ground, defensively. Ex: “I spent the last 20 minutes as a speed bump!”

Spin-Cycle: When the front line of battle has come so close to your resurrection point, that fighters get killed and resurrect repeatedly in a short period of time. Ex: “Wow- I was in spin cycle for the last 5 minutes of that battle. I died and rezzed at least 5 times.”

Swishy-Poke: (alt. Wire Weenie) People who fight light weapons (rapier, etcetera.) Known for their colorful dress, polka dot bruises and much lighter baggage.

Thunder-Bunny: A rabbit pelt is given to make a pouch with, and the remaining scraps are donated and turned into a bikini-type garment. And worn.

Time-line Impaired: (alt. Chronologically challenged) A person who participates in recreating various time lines. Ex: “He’s out doing civil war this week, roman next week, and the celt the following week. He’s seriously time-line impaired” (See MPS.)

Time-Warping: Pre-16th century personas sitting around the fire and discussing favorite websites, authors, cheat codes, space genres, role-playing games, and of course, Monty Python. Ex: “Come on in- we were just Time-Warping about Joss Whedon.”

Tourney-Tank: A Heavily armored fighter who specializes in solo combat. Ex: “Wow- did you see the armor that Tourney Tank is wearing? Shiny!”

Squire for Hire: Anybody standing nearby when heavy armor is going on.

Vorpal Bunny: (alt. VB) When a normally easy going fighter, or fighter of smaller stature proves to be exceedingly ferocious. Ex: “That Drafn Archer has gone all Vorpal Bunny on me!”

War Dog: Any fighter of any gender who fights wars and not tournaments.

War-Monster: (alt. War Dog) A Fighter who fights mainly at wars. War-Monsters tend to have larger shields, larger weapons, and larger hang-overs.

Well Connected: An SCAer who has his cell phone or laptop at a war and is texting, emailing or otherwise connected to the internet. Usage: "Talk to Sir Geek; he's well connected." (Has signal!)