SCA

Warning: Spoiler alert! There are articles here that have yet to be published elsewhere. All content copyrights belong to “True Thomas the Storyteller” (Robert Seutter) and/or the SCA. If you would like to re-publish these articles in your SCA newsletters, magazines, etc. please feel free to contact THL Thomas Whitehart (True) and he’ll be glad to help you.

• ABC-SCA, The SCA Alphabet Primer
• A Shield Wall of One!
• Bad-Bard, Bad-Bard, Whatcha' Gonna Do?
• Born in the SCA
• Crag's Lyst, (April Foolish!)
• The Medieval Diner
• Sunny Valhalla SCA Retirement Home
• Secret Stratagems
• Siege Towers 101
• The Boke of the Dyseases le SCadyian
• The Fyne Art of Combat Brewing
• True’s Glossary of…EVIL!, Version 3.0!
• Happy Hanu-Kwana-Solsti-rismas!
• The Fyne art of Feast Warfare
• SCA Heraldic Zodiac Bling
• Welcome to the New Middle Aged-ness
• The Fyne Art of Picking a Nemesis
• A Visit From Sir Sven A Claus

• Class Handouts

ABC-SCA, The SCA Alphabet Primer

By: THL Thomas Whitehart

Dedicated to my wonderful son Taliesin, and to all those SCA families!

A is Autocrat, Armor
and Archer!
Adventurously, archers use a bow to make arrows and bolts fly.
If your helmet goes “Bwaang!” it’s just an archer saying Hi!

B is for Bard, Brewer,
and Battlefield,
Bravely, where all the fighters show. If your mommy and daddy dress up in lots
of armor, this is where they go!

C is for Crown, Chainmail,
and Chirurgeon,
Carefully, the Chirurgeon is the person who you call when you say OW!
If your mommy and daddy, get hit too hard, they'll call for them somehow.

D is for Duct-Tape, Duke,
and Dragon,
Dangerously, a Dragon can be hard to see…If you make a friend of one
He'll live under your bed, and eat all the monsters for free.

E is for Event, Earl,
and Eric
Eventually, a place where you can go. For you'll get some boffers and make some
friends, and whappity all your foes!

F is for Feast, Favor,
and Fighter,
Ferociously, the warriors who like to play. They pretend to slay all of their
friends, a million times a day.

G is for “Good!”, Gambeson,
and Garb,
Grandly, the funny clothes that you wear! Your mommy and daddy will never have
enough, and always carry lots of spares.

H is for Hat, Halberd,
and HOLD!,
Haltingly, one of the very first words you'll hear, It means don't move, don't
hit your brother, or stick a spoon in your sister’s ear.

I is for Ice-pack, Inkle-loom
and Imagination,
Incredibly, Heralds need a lot of it, to keep all the shields interesting.

J is for Judge, Javelin,
and Joust,
Jarringly, where horses and nobles go to have fun, with long sticks they knock
each over, and if they fall off the horsey, they're done.

K is for King, Kilt,
and Knight,
Knowledgably, a knight really knows how to fight. They have to be noble and gentle
all day, and tell a siege engine from a sword at first sight.

L is for Ladies, Lords,
and Laurel,
Learnedly, Laurels read a lot of books, and know the difference between a King and Cod with one look.

M is for Madrigal, Moose,
and Mundane
Magically when we take off our medieval clothes, and put on the stuff we
normally wear, we're "naked"! It's silly, I suppose?

N is for Norman, Newt
And Newbie,
Normally, Newbies join the SCA, they have a lot to learn when they come to play.
Read these ABC’s and you shall surely win the day!

O is for Obviously, Ornery,
And Order,
Officially trying to get organized! We pack all our gear, and it grows year after year,
It’s silly but we have to try!

P is for Pelican, Pole-arm
And Peer,
Proudly, the people who have to behave. They have to play nice, and clean up
their mess, and learn how to properly gaze.

Q is for Quagmire, Quest,
And Queen,
Quickly, we bow when she passes by. The Queen is not allowed to play ring-toss
with the crown, though secretly she wants to try.

R is for Roar, Reign
and Rhino,
Ruggedly, a very tough sort of beast. If you ask the fighters if they seen them
anywhere, they've met two or three at the least.

S is for Silly, Seneschal,
and SCA,
Sensibly, the place where all the fun people go, we play dress up, and pretend
to fight, just like the kids you know.

T is for Two-handed, Trim,
and Trolls,
Traditionally, they like to be under bridges and gates. If you have your site favor
around your neck, they won't put you on their plate.

U is for Unusual, Unicorn,
and Uniform,
Usually, what you wear when you're part of a war-band, sometimes they sing, but
usually they fight, and proudly together they stand.

V is for Victory, Viscount,
and Volunteers,
Very quickly they can disappear. But when you can catch them, they make things
happen fast, and help the kingdom move all of it's gear.

W is for Woad, Wagon
and Weaver,
Wonderfully, weaving gossip and thread all day. Weavers know how to spin a tale, and
make pretty things along the way.


X is for X-Rays, X marks the spot,
and Xenophobes
Xenophobes are people who don't know how to play. The SCA is a very silly and
accepting place, so join us and we’ll show you the way!

Y is for Yodel, Yak
and Yurt
Yawningly, a place where our Mongols sleep. Don't wake them up, even if they
snore, and never wake up their sheep.

Z is for ZZZZ and Zipper and Zombie,
Zealously, in the morning after too much mead, they scarily lurch towards the
coffee, but after a sip they turn into Mommy and Daddy!